If I ever write The Way of Justin, a book that would contain the ideas and practices that work for me and could make up a code of conduct to apply to the rest of my life, it would likely have an introduction entitled “Limited Time Only.” I expect my Way would include messages of kindness, acceptance, awareness, along with practices like exercise and gift giving. Anything in the Way, though, would have to be considered underneath the over-arching idea that we are here for a limited time only. More to the point, every relationship is for a limited time only.
In the movie Rudy, Rudy asks a priest for help and counsel, and the priest says, “Son, in 35 years of religious study, I have only come up with two hard, incontrovertible facts: there is a God, and I’m not Him.” For my part, having spent my 40 years being “painfully observant,” as a coworker once said, I have kept an eye out for universal truths. And there aren’t many. As temperature increases, relative humidity decreases, and the inverse. As air rises, temperature decreases, and at a rate faster than the temperature decreases as it descends. But the main universal truth is that we all die. Our time here on Earth, at least in this body and with this mind, is limited time only.
This lends a sense or urgency to life, but can also provide some freedom. I’m reminded of a quote I once heard: “Everyone makes me happy. Some people when they show up, others when they leave.” When I consider my relationships, I must always remember limited time only, so that I can truly appreciate the positive relationships and enjoy them as much as possible, but also so I can not get too worked up over the more toxic or uncomfortable relationships knowing they will eventually end.
I find when I look at my dogs, if I remind myself limited time only, I look at them more lovingly and can keep in mind that my time with them will be shorter than either of us wish.
When I think of positive relationships, I think of another possible tenet from The Way of Justin: “Don’t be afraid to love who you like.” I think many times we know the people who we come across who spark something in us, who make us comfortable, who we would rather work with or walk with or grab coffee with, but we hold back, we just accept the relationship at its basic level. I think if we allow ourselves to go beyond “like” in those relationships and come from a place of love instead we can enrich our lives more during the limited time we have here in this life.
For me, “Limited Time Only” means remembering that each moment, each activity, each relationship will end, for better or for worse. If the Covid-19 pandemic has taught us anything (other than that people in Florida are crazy), it’s that things can change in an instant. Appreciate what you have, because you won’t always have it. Don’t sweat over the negatives too much, because those won’t be around forever either. Make the most of the positive moments. Make the most of your loving relationships. Make the most of your gifts. Make the most of your interests. Make the most of this life.
As Alicia Keys sang, “I don’t want to forget the present is a gift.”
Sex And Depression 